Light's Regret
by SaPHirE307
Summary: Light reflects on his life and regrets about L and Kira. May be a sequel from L's point of view. Can be seen and LXLight romance or friendship.


**I have this story up. Stay Away With Me will have a new chapter very shortly. Hope you enjoy this. Please review. Even hate is excepted, but not appreciated.**

 **Here's the story**

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I started looking back on my life since I got the Death Note. No, since I met L really. Purging the world of horrid people in its self was something I knew needed to be done, but since no one else could it had to be me to do it. A game I was all too willing to play. No one had ever been a challenge. _He_ was the first.

Kira and L were always meant to fight, or rather play their game, but when I lost my memory of being Kira I realized Light and Ryuzaki were meant to work together. That's one of my biggest regrets. I'm still not sure if it's about forgetting and gaining that bond, or remembering and losing it, but even a genius gets stumped on certain simple problems.

When we were on the roof soaked in the rain I once again saw my friend. Once I got you inside you got you inside you got on your knees and cleaned my feet you knew I planned to kill you and I would succeed. Kira would win our game. With you on your knees admitting defeat I thought Kira's pride would swell but it didn't. In that moment for the last time Light and Ryuzaki could be friends, even if it was for just one more moment.

Before I can even breathe I am standing there waiting for Rem to seal the deal.

As his spoon drops it hits me. My only real friend who can even stand with me on any level was going to die in the next I jump to grab him before he can hit the ground. Looking at his fading eyes I knew I had one more fight to surrender to. L was right after all. I am Kira. I silently let him have that victory, but not with words. No, I had to keep up appearances for everyone else. He died knowing, so it was ok, o rather that's what I thought for the longest time.

After his funeral I stood over his grave. I laughed hysterically. I had won. I had finally won. No one could take that from me. Even if someone else discovered the truth and stopped me, not that that could ever happen, I beat L. I won our game. That was my victory. So why couldn't I stop crying. I knew as Light I might have been upset but Kira was crying just as much.

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Years went by. Others tried to stop Kira but they were easily defeated. When Near showed up claiming to be the new L I was extremely insulted. No one, no matter how great, could ever take the place of him.

On our last showdown I walked in on him wearing a L mask. That was all to true. He wanted to be you. He couldn't possibly have out thought me.

When Mikami's Death Note didn't work it didn't make sense. How could Near possibly have won? He explained how he had help from Mello. He went on on how the two of them together were greater than L.

I stopped listening. It didn't matter. He didn't win. He cheated. L knew to follow the rules and in turn I did as well, but this kid thinks he can come in and change the game. This wasn't a defeat. I haven't lost. I still win L.

I ran away. That's the first time I ever ran. But he cheated so I had to as well to keep the game fair. I knew I wouldn't get far but I got far enough.

Sitting on these steps knowing Ryuk is writing my name, if he hasn't already. I realized something. Why I never really considered Near an opponent. In truth it wasn't just the fighting between Kira and L. It was the friendship between Light and Ryuzaki that made the game worth playing.

We were made to be together a soul mate. As I lay dying I see you again. It's no longer Kira and L but neither is it Light and Ryuzaki. It's just you and me. Now I realize in your last moments I should have told you that I knew, not that you didn't already know, because of course you knew. Light and Ryuzaki's bond wasn't lost. It was just overshadowed by L and Kira.

You went to heaven…or hell maybe, but it doubt that. I can't follow you to either way. So yes, you won. You completed me and I gave it up. I gave you away so willingly. You deserve better then to have memories of such a horrible person.

Good bye my L. And please forget me.

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 **Thank you for reading this or just scroll to the bottom. Hope you didn't completely hate it. Remember someone out there loves you and if they don't then In will.**


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